A tribute to Alice in Wonderland

Alice in Wonderland is one of my favorite stories. Here I borrow the character of the White Rabbit, and mentions of Alice, to see if I can write in the same tone.

Comments appreciated.

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(unfinished fiction)

Florence had been staring at the bush for quite a while, wondering what made it interesting enough to account for her extended staring, when she realized the bush was staring back at her.

Well, thats rather rude, she thought, and picked up a stone to throw at the offending bush.

The white rabbit wearing a waistcoat and carrying a pocket watch came out as quite a surprise. That was the very last thing she had expected to see, even though she had been taught to expect to see just that.

Queer, she thought. Maybe Auntie Alice isn’t as deranged as they all say she is.

“Oh dear, I fear we’re late,” the white rabbit said, taking Florence’s hand and pulling her under the bush. “Hurry along now Alice, why must you always be so slow. We haven’t time to hesitate.”

Florence protested that she wasn’t Alice, but the white rabbit wouldn’t hear of it, and all too soon she found herself falling rather unpleasantly down and unusually long rabbit hole.

“Pardon me Mr. Rabbit, but could you bother to tell me why it is so dark in here? Auntie Alice never said the Rabbit hole was dark.”

“Must you talk so much,” the rabbid scolded. “We’re quite late enough as it is.”

“See, its just that I’m not found of the dark that much.”

“Rubbish stuff and horrible untruth. You can see perfectly well girl, just open your eyes.”

“Mr. Rabbit, I hate to be a bother, but I assure you my eyes are open and it is certainly dark in here.”

“It’s only as dark as you think it is. If you think it is bright, then it will be bright. Open you eyes, Alice.”

“I’m not Alice,” Florence huffed, then said, “Fine. I think its light in here.”

No sooner than she thought the thought, the rabbit hole brightened considerably.

“Well, now that’s odd.”

Florence took a moment to look about.

“Rather plain though, isn’t it? Just simple dirt walls. Auntie Alice said there were shelves here.”

Shelves appeared.

“Did I do that mr. Rabbit?”

“Yes, you did. Now hurry along now. We’re very, very late, and getting later and very later.”

“So anything I think, anything at all, will show up. If I thought about a carthorse in a nightgown it would show up beside me?”

“Why certainly,” said the carthorse which had been the white rabbit seconds before. “Now could you not think quite so much, Alice, as you’ve always thought too much. Think much less, except to think us to the bottom of this hole? We’ve somewhere to be!”

3 comments:

Tyler Fontaine said...

I stumbled across your blog from the Best of the Blogs website. Congrats on getting runner up!

First off, I really like this snippit of a story.

Just a couple of things:

1. “Must you talk so much,” the rabbid scolded. “We’re quite late enough as it is.” <- Just a little typo

2. This section: “Did I do that mr. Rabbit?”

“Yes, you did. Now hurry along now. We’re very, very late, and getting later and very later.”

“So anything I think, anything at all, will show up. If I thought about a carthorse in a nightgown it would show up beside me?"


That particular section falls a little outside of the Carole tone. While Florence may well have asked the white rabbit if she thought those shelves into existence, the rabbit would have never taken the time to answer the question. He'd have just bound off muttering about the time, just like he did with Alice. Additionally, I'm entirely sure Carole would have been so overt about her ability as to have her ask it in dialogue. She may have been mystified, or even had a random thought about how it was queer. There's no need to state it so overtly, as the reader's already figure it out, and the important thing is that Florence notices.

In any event, it's just my 2 cents. I'll be following your blog, so please keep writing!

-Tyler

Noner said...

Thanks for the feedback Tyler.

I had noticed my typo, and even that I had left the Mr. in lower case, but have just been too lazy to log in and correct it.

Thank you also for your feedback on the tone of my little tidbit. You're right, of course. The rabbit never was much of a question answerer.

Tyler Fontaine said...

The pleasure is all mine. I've been reading through a bit, and you're a talented writer! I hope that you'll get back into the daily 100 groove you had going there for a while. :)